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Crazy Things People Say About Hemorrhoids on Reddit

Posted on 01 August 2018 by

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You’ve got to love a site like Reddit.  Reddit is the place where anyone and everyone can gather and discuss everything under the sun.  From true crime to drone-lovers, there is a category for any interest on this Internet forum.  Hemorrhoids, strangely enough, are of course included in the vast web space of Reddit. 

This place where people can freely discuss topics, even about hemorrhoids, can amount to ridiculous things. 

An obscure forum such as a hemorrhoid discussion probably makes users think that they aren’t being seen all that often, but here we are, compiling a list of the craziest things they’ve commented on when it comes to hemorrhoids.

A favorite topic thread entitled: “Have any of you guys ever had hemorrhoids? How did you treat them?”; led us to a few gems.

hemorrhoid relief

User inline-triple wrote: I have and it was suuuuper horrible. Very painful, it felt like having a dice stuck in my ass for a few weeks. Treated it with some over the counter stuff from the drug store. It was shrinking happily when it popped ... at work. It was not an enjoyable experience. Kept treating it. Was gone in a week or two or whatever.

I have a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast every day now (greased lightning) and drink plenty of water. Relegated coffee down to one cup a day.

The craziest bit about inline-triple’s comment is that the hemorrhoid in question popped.  This is a new one—and while there's no doubt that this user had a horrible experience with a particularly troublesome hemorrhoid, the fact that it burst is concerning at the very least.

Hemorrhoids are not like pimples or abscesses; they don’t burst because they are composed of various tissues, venous blood vessels, arteries, and other components of the anal cushion, all of which that has become inflamed and irritated. 

Thrombosed hemorrhoids can burst because this type of hemorrhoid has a blood vessel trapped within the inflamed vein, and so it is likely that this is what this user is referring to.

However, inline-triple is not wrong about oatmeal for breakfast every day—the sheer amount of fiber in a bowl of oatmeal is bound to get your colon regular.

In a thread simply titled, “hemorrhoids”, the original poster GenericCoffee wrote: “I sometimes bleed when I wipe and there's blood from what I assume are hemorrhoids. I should have them seen by a doctor but it got me to wondering if I'm smearing shit into what is basically an open wound and is this dangerous?”

Aside from this being a hilarious comment, GenericCoffee also poses an excellent hemorrhoid related question. 

This user thought that the bright red protrusion was an open wound, and while it is a painful condition, hemorrhoids are not so much a wound, but rather an inflamed sac of vessels and veins.

GenericCoffee is also commenting on the fact that the rectum produces bright red blood—could this be the open wound this user is worried about?  Decidedly, not likely, because hemorrhoids can bleed, and when they do, they produce this bright red blood. 

You might spot this blood covering your stools or when you go to wipe, so if you aren’t sure of the source, it can be a little confusing. 

Internal hemorrhoids are known to bleed because when a hard stool is being pushed past the wall of the anal canal, it can actually scrape the anal cushion, especially if a hemorrhoid is obstructing its path. 

Fortunately, we can’t feel internal hemorrhoids, but the more straining we find ourselves doing, the more likely either type of hemorrhoid will form.

As for GenericCoffee, this user still should see a doctor, because rectal bleeding could be telling you that your body has another unrelated condition.

In a thread deep in the archives of the Health & Sciences section of Reddit, user morthund heads this post with the title: “Hemorrhoids are a nightmare, and you should do everything in your power to avoid getting them. Shit or get off the pot.”

This user isn’t wrong—sitting for long periods of time can be detrimental for your toilet habits and for your rectal blood supply.  People who sit or stand for long periods of time could be unknowingly putting themselves at risk for hemorrhoids.

Although we all like to take our time on the toilet some days as a part of a “bathroom break”, this could be doing more harm than good.  Veins, arteries, and blood vessels cannot perform as well as they are able to because they are constricted and unable to circulate the blood to the rectum. 

Parts of the anal cushion become inflamed, and before you know it, hemorrhoids have formed.

Another user quickly responds to the post, asking: Thanks, but let’s say you’re texting or making a phone call on the can (for privacy), just sitting there doesn’t do anything right?

To which the original poster wryly responds: If it's only once in a while, or not for too long, then it's not going to do anything. But, if you're having a 30-minute phone conversation every time you shit, that could be a problem.

We don’t consider how long we sit on the toilet for as a part of our “break”, but user morthond is right in the fact that this is definitely something to pay attention to. 

If you happen to engage in hour-long sessions of scrolling through the Internet whilst on the toilet, then you will need to give your bathroom habits a serious makeover if you want to avoid developing hemorrhoids.

Perhaps one of the craziest things on Reddit is the fact that some users take no action whatsoever in preventing hemorrhoids from occurring. 

Hemorrhoids are an upsettingly painful anorectal disease, and while there’s no “cure”, there are plenty of actions you can take to stop flare-ups in their tracks.

On a more recent thread, “Do Hemorrhoids go away on their own?”, responses ranged from users answering the question to sharing their own experiences with hemorrhoids. 

The craziest response came from user xpepzi502—I got hemorrhoids from eating spicy chicken a lot and just having a bad diet overall. This caused bad straining and all, etc  To answer your question no it never goes away. It’s like a cold sore basically, on and off. It depends how bad you’re straining and what you’re eating that will cause it to inflame again.  If I eat something spicy and shit a lot that’s what awakens my hems. Best suggestion is no spicy food and always use preparation H or keep baby wipes on you to keep it clean and healed.

Misinformation in culmination with Internet myths can create the craziest things said on Reddit forums, and xpepzi502’s answer is no exception. 

By admitting that they have a bad diet but blaming the hemorrhoids on spicy chicken can attest to the lack of correct knowledge surrounding what causes hemorrhoids.

Spicy food lovers should know that this myth has been debunked by science.  A study conducted in 2006 tested the spice of hot peppers with patients with hemorrhoids and found that the spiciness of the foods did not worsen or cause hemorrhoids or their symptoms to arise.

It’s not so much the spice to blame for xpepzi502’s bad hemorrhoids, but rather a bad diet and chronic diarrhea. 

But the most insane part about this response from this user is the lack of willingness to change their diet to include a proper amount of fiber to reduce straining and this obvious issue of chronic diarrhea.

If you are perusing Reddit for medical advice concerning your hemorrhoids, you may want to look elsewhere, because the crazy responses we spotted in popular forums were just that—crazy. 

There is a lot of misinformation floating around on the Web and people who aren't exactly sure what they are talking about perpetuating it.

The most correct and accurate information is going to come straight from the scientific community itself, and that includes your doctor.  If you believe you have hemorrhoids, ask your doctor about treatment and preventative plan. 

Don't let hemorrhoids plague you for the long run, instead, make small changes to live a hemorrhoid-free life.

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